Sound off!

I would love to play with the handcuffs, just once in awhile not all the time. I just think that it is good idea to talk about your fantasies and likes and dislikes before you are in bed together.
Being spoiled once in awhile is nice but I thnk it goes both ways. Being treated as an equal is what it is all about.

Good for you! My lady has been treated very poorly by past partners, so enjoys the pampering and attention. Playing the knight in shining armor comes naturally to me. Not to say that I don't find strong, independent woman incredibly sexy.

See, now, Luv, that's why you and I would not make a good couple. I don't like being treated like a princess. I like to slay my own dragons and buy my own diamonds. However, I'm sure there are plenty of ladies who do like being someone's princess.

When I was six, a woman asked me what I was going to be when I was a lady. I looked her in the eye and, in an angry voice said, 'I am NOT going to be a lady! I am going to be a WOMAN!'

No worries, Issyvoo, no offense taken.

I do treat my lady like a princess ;)

LOL OMFG......

Sorry, Luv, didn't mean to attack you. I was just pointing out how unkinky I am and how upset I'd be if someone 'playfully' cuffed me without first checking if it was my thing. I still remain a bit surprised by this question because it does seem that the person asking it thinks we've all got kinks... or maybe the thought is that only those with kinks will answer?

'My lady'... very medieval, in a good way, I think.

Well if everybody was into it, it wouldn't be called a kink now, would it? And for the record, if I know my lady isn't into it, it doesn't happen. Plenty of other things to do.

Yeah, Sate, if someone put handcuffs on me, I'd be furious and I'd never see her again. Not so kinky me.

Something tells me that Jackie isn't exactly resisting, if you know what I mean. It's a very intelligent butch who knows how to pick her battles. Sometimes it's wise to just lay there and giggle.

haha cute. and i do see.

See Sate?? I'm the boss of her! ;)

Gosh, Billy, you know how turn people on:))))) Sorry for off top...

i like it, dive.

see, if i ever were to date a law enforcement officer, and they did that to me, i'd be all like, 'where's your documentation, where's your uh adduction, i demand to speak to a lawyer.' or i'd be all like, 'i've been a particularly ordinary girl.' or a good girl. a law-abiding girl, perhaps.

something like that. anyhow, i'd try to get outta that situation.

perhaps that is the uh 'negotiating' jackson would have illustrated for us, if she could reach her keyboard (which, really, the fact that she can't means that she does not have such negotiating skills and therefore should not be advising/illustrating/etc.). killin' two birds, i suppose.

Lisa (Pussnbooty) ROFLMFAO!!!!

In my line of work, it's fairly easy to bring up. Just pretend to need practice in handcuff techniques, slap the cuffs on, and if she says, 'Why thank you officer, may I have another, I've been a veeerrrrry bad girl', it's game on.

... i meant pussnbooty.

*sigh*

omg AWESOME!

you are awesome, pussynboot.

Sate..Jackson can't talk or type right now..her mouth is full and her hands are tied..lol

*guffaws*

Oh, Sate, you caught me. I have a degree in Communications but I really think I only first noticed the word being used by my colleagues in an English department. As for McLuhan, have you seen this? Skip ahead to about 1:46 if you like but the whole clip is great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpIYz8tfGjY

But I'm off topic! Yipes.

hmm, interesting, issy. i think when someone says that they feel 'limited' by something i request or find something i want 'limiting' that i experience the same kind of irkedness with their word choice.

on the other hand, whenever someone uses the term 'problematic', i know they've just finished a communication degree. i think marshall mcluhan coined it. anyway, it's in some pivotal paper first-year material somewhere, covered in a really important class that i apparently skipped. so, when i hear 'problematic', i feel bad about missing all those classes i paid for. ok not really. it's just a lame word. automatic, problematic, lunatic? the last one works for me.

jackson? can you illustrate '... negotiate' for me? if you have an example handy that you'd like to share, i'm all eyeballs.

thanks,

sate.

Sate, you're right about the word 'problematic.' Any time someone uses it at work, I know he/she really means, 'I think your opinion is f*cked.' Still, you get my point. The question assumes either that every sexual desire is a kink or that everyone on this site has kinky desires and neither assumption is correct, I'm sure... not that there's anything wrong with kinks.

Being honest and communicating desires with a partner is crucial for achieving sexual bliss.Listen, share negotiate.

man i can't stand the word problematic. but i agree.

I think the word 'kink' itself is problematic. What's a 'kink' and what is merely a desire or a 'like' or 'dislike'? 'Kink' is a very loaded word.

Just ask her if she'd like to have some fun...

o brother what a stupid question

i'm fairly un-kinky. i always feel uncomfortable bringing that up.

Put on your most mischievous grin and say you wanna play... then simply explain the rules as you go;)

I have had alot of success when i pull out an old 'On Our Backs' and feed the feelings page by sticky page. 'That looks .......Fun ' 'That could hurt' 'Maybe .... Maybe NOT'

Be up front (don't touch that one as it is way too easy), honest, sincere, supporting, respectful, exploring and have fun!!!

It's better to just be upfront about it. I had a girl break up with me by email, who said that she just didn't think I would be into her kinks, which she went on to describe. When I read them, invariably I went, 'Damn. That sounds hot.' Of course, she missed out by not just telling me what she wanted.
So in my next relationship, I just laid it all out on the table for my partner. And she was totally willing to try things, and we had a fantastic sex life. Honesty is always the best policy, cause you don't get to wear the gimp mask and be drizzled with honey if you don't ask first.
And no, that's not something I've tried.
Yet.
;)

'my kink is playing till death do we part' i find that people like to discuss that fantasy, and have no problems staying in character for extended periods of time...is this off topic?

I think if I did want to do something out of the ordinary, certainly it would be best to mention when not in bed in the middle of love making in case it made my partner really uncomfortable. But I'm with steadfast on this one; most things I'd like just kind of happen organically.

coolmomma -- as in 'just do it?' hahaha, that's awesome.

depends on the kink i guess -- most things, i'd just start with a 'hey, baby...', but if it was something heavy, i'd be more likely to write a note.

it seriously hurts to have someone immediately shoot you down when you're being open about what you like (hi, exes!). so, i like the space that letters give. it lets the other person mull things over, decide if they like it or not, and then come back to the person with a 'yea!' or 'not for me.' it avoids having to respond to the 'you want to do WHAT?!!! JEEZ!' gut reaction, and lets you talk about it from a more calm and caring place.

your results may vary. i've found this good, though :)

hmm...

I don't think about most things I like to do as in a box called kinks, so it seems like everything just come up naturally..all sexual exploration should be easy to talk about with my lover, if it isn't I am with the wrong woman

I don't think about most things I like to do as in a box called kinks, so it seems like everything just come up naturally..all sexual exploration should be easy to talk about with my lover, if it isn't I am with the wrong woman

Topping is a kink?! Oh my. I was just about to say that my problem is how to bring up that I don't have any kinks but maybe the problem is just in my definition of kinks. I've always thought of myself as very vanilla.

i say make love and then see where it goes, if you are comfy with yourself and your desires then it is kind of an experiment...

unless of course you are into SERIOUS kink, then your guess is as good as mine...i couldn't even begin to tell you...shit i have trouble saying i like to top...can't imagine getting further into details...hmmm

NIKE

It seems pretty easy to me. Just say 'You know what reeeaaally turns me on!' haha It goes pretty smoothly from there.