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smith jolin
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08-08-2012 19:25 |
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123 newsky
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07-07-2012 00:35 |
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GeekGirl
going thru a phase
Posts: 60
Location: Abbotsford, B.C. really!
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Hi Teaky,
There is no formula, just honesty and the knowledge that what is best for you will have consequences as it is not what is best for others, necesarily. Some consequence will be mild and some life changing, but you have already figured this out by now. Just know that even in the worst case scenario you can imagine, you have been honest and true and the fall-out does not belong to you. Many will try to make you believe that you are the cause of their trauma, but it is their's. Believe this and live by it. It will save you the heartache and GUILT that so many others bear. What we get in life may or may not be in our control. What we do with it is always in our control. It is the choice of individuals what they will do with your revellation. The only exception to this is your children. At this moment, you have to be ultra sensitive to so many of their needs, but balance it with a healthy representation of what makes you happy. I think you already are doing this. Last note, don't overthink it. Just do it, honestly and from the heart. You may be surprised at the initial response, you may be shocked, but remember that it is the first response. Time changes everyone, so if you do get the worst, hang in there it is not the last word, I promise.
*personal note - when an old ex of mine came out to her parents many years ago, her ultra strict dutch orthodox dad reacted with amusement and opened his home to us. Her more liberal christian mom went on a hunger strike and ended up in hospital as she was so broken by her daughter's sin. This is exactly the opposite reaction from both that was expected. It took many years, but through honesty and truth we formed a relationship that was based on respect of each other. Never acceptance, but respect. That was the best we could do and was good enough under the circumstances.
Good Luck!
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11-19-2009 10:11 |
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Hippie
babydyke
Posts: 100
Location: Kelowna
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I think your family might surprise you. I know mine did. I was REALLY hard at first. even now a bit but it is getting better and better every day. They kind of just pretend nothing happened. It's how they cope with things.
once it's out you will fell better and if things do hit rock bottom they can only go up from there.
I think it's amazing you both have children. I have two and would love to meet someone one day with a few of there own. You can never have to much family or to many people to love.
keep your chin up and follow your heart.
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"Speak you mind, even if your voice shakes"
"If you're not mad, you're not paying attention"
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11-17-2009 21:33 |
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periwinkle
Nudist
Posts: 5
Location: Williams Lake, BC
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do you live near your family? do you have a good relationship with your family other than the hiding of your sexual orientation?
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11-11-2009 10:04 |
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Teaky
Nudist
Posts: 1
Location: Vaqncouver area
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HI im Teaky and new to this site. I have had a gf for the past three years and we are reading to move forward in the relationship. She has told her family about us and I have not. We come from two totally different families and I am the one kind of having a hard time explaining to my family. I was previously married and now divorced 9 years. I met this chick and we fell in love. She is in process of divorce and we would like to live together soon. We both have kids one each and they are ok. I am sure my family has suspision but I come from a strick background with morals of male to female only. Any suggestions on how to proceed to coming out in the open. Thanks.
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Teaky
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09-16-2009 09:24 |
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