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I realize it has been a while since this thread has been active, but I just wanted to say as someone else in conservative (and fairly homophobic, compared to many other places in BC) Kelowna, that while it all depends on your circumstances, I think you have to be true to yourself, as it creates a healthier environment for everyone (mental health, confidence, etc).
Discussing one's "lesbianism" with another parent may not have to do with just realizing you are a lesbian, but rather that you have always raised your children as a lesbian/queer parent.
While hard to find, I know that there are queer/lesbian parents in Kelowna who are not only "out" to their kids, but "out" to their daycares and schools too. By talking with the organizations that your kids are involved with means that 1) yes, they can be homophobic upfront, but then 2) you aren't in for huge surprises later, and conversely, should you experience any homophobia from other parents or kids later, the staff will be better able to support you.
Good luck!
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